I’ve been home from school for a month or so and I’ve been able to take time to reflect on this past year. I’ve been able to think about what I would have changed, what I wish I did or didn’t do as well as how I feel like I’ve grown from the beginning of the year to now as well as in general.
This past year was definitely a learning and growing year for me. This was my first year away from home. The first semester up until Thanksgiving was rough. Not only for me but for a lot of the girls on my floor. We spent our weekends in the hallway doing our homework and crying. A lot of tears were shed. We began making the joke that instead of “Saturdays are for the boys” it was ” Saturdays are for the tears”. I don’t think there was one weekend where one of us wasn’t crying because we were homesick. I didn’t think I was one to get homesick so much. We all became close as a floor because we were always comforting one another.
Personally, the end of October/beginning of November was pretty hard for me. My roommate decided it was best if she moved out of our room into another room. I was completely blindsided and confused. We didn’t have any issues at all, she said she was moving out because our floor was loud and she was switching majors so she needed to focus. It was really hard for me because I am a very social person and even though we didn’t talk much I enjoyed the presence of somebody else in the room. I began hanging out with a few girls on my floor and became really close with them. We were constantly together and I knew these were “my people”.
Basketball season had also started so I started going to the games which became my go-to thing and I got my bounce back. Coming home for Thanksgiving was great. It was just what I needed. I needed a little touch of home and then I was ready to be back at school with my friends. The hallway crying sessions had died down but so did the homework in the hallway. A few weeks later I was home for Christmas but I again couldn’t wait to come back with my friends. Semester one had taught me so many things about myself. One thing I learned was that even though being away from home can be scary if you surround yourself with the right people you’re new place can start to feel like your new home.
Semester two had started and I was excited to get my new classes and meet new people. Here’s the thing, since I was so comfortable with the group of girls on my floor that I’d become friends with I didn’t give anybody else a chance to also be my friend but more so acquaintances. Then one day I noticed that the girls on my floor who I was friends with started to push me away. When I confronted them they spilled everything on me that they’d been holding onto from semester one. They specifically didn’t really like how I was constantly with them among other things. I was really confused and asked them how was I supposed to know that was an issue when it wasn’t brought to my attention until now. They said that they just thought it would blow over. For a few weeks, I pushed myself away and figured when they wanted me back they would come get me. It never happened so I came to them. When I came back to them the energy was different but I rolled with it.
Over Easter break, the three of them all went home but I stayed at school. I decided to hang out with some other people that I had pushed away during the first semester. This had to have been one of the best weeks of my life. We did things and didn’t just stay in the dorms. When we did stay in we played games or watched movies. It was so much fun and the group was so welcoming of me too. I briefly explained what was happening with the other girls and they told me that they were glad I was with them. They reinforced the feeling I was having with the other group and how the other girls were handling everything weren’t right. It was nice to hear that from an outside group. When the break was over the girl noticed I was hanging with new people who brought out the best in me and they began to drift away from me. As I look at it now I am okay with it because the group of friends that I now have are funny, fun to be around and don’t just stick to each other but also have other friends besides us in the group and are just overall amazing people. I am so glad I met them. I wish I met them earlier but without this past semester ups and downs, I wouldn’t know that some people are better as individuals instead of a big group as well as how groups of friends should treat one another.
The biggest lesson I learned was to have a wide range of friends. There is nothing wrong with having a few close friends but having a larger group of friends to also bounce between depending on my mood is nice too. I can’t wait for next year to grow more as well as meet new people and build the relationships I already have.